Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Duck Duck Cougar?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
