I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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