if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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