Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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