Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
