I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there was a trapeze. enough said
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
