Girls should come with a carfax report
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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