ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
