i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
