i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
How's work?
Spinning.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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