after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize