thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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