I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize