I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
