problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
