so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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