I CAN MOONWALK!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
