What did we do last night that was yellow?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
