i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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