Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
