So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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