Need sex. Gaining weight.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
