So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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