I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
