also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
