I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize