D3 body, D1 cock
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Boobs are out for the taking
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
