summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize