Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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