so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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