would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
