it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
