our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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