You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
