i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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