69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
