next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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