Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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