new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
