I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
