just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
