In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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