nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
