What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just pee around me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
