She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
