didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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