so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
