Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
