I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
vagina is talking i cant
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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