do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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