I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
