I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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