Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I will be naked everywhere
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
