What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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