She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
