Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
