Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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