Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
