I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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