I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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