he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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