My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
