I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
