you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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