Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
