You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
